” I’d handed him six bolts by now and I was panting. Most of the time he just pushed me on the ladder to the right place so at least I didn’t have to climb up and down.“It’s true you can get a bargain. Of course, it’s cheaper to buy Chinese than Thai. The good thing is that most people can’t tell the difference. If it has an elephant on it they assume it’s Thai.”“Too many people have watched ‘The King and I’ and figure that everything with elephants comes from there,” I agreed. “I wouldn’t turn down a good deal if it looked reasonable.”“So who pointed you in my direction,” the old man asked.“An old friend of mine from college,” I answered casually. “Guy named Simon Barnett.” I handed him the last bolt and he motioned me to get down off the ladder. He walked away from me and I followed. He motioned me to a chair beside his desk and fell heavily into his own.“I didn’t catch your name,” he said.“Hamar,” I answered. “Dag Hamar.” All right, I admit. It’s not quite as dramatic as “Bond,. And I love you too. We should not have let today happen; but we did. I don’t know what we should do going forward. It is wrong to continue like we have been. But I do not know if I can stop. I know we should stop; I just don’t know if I can,” I reflected both to Gary as well as to myself as I stood there.“Why should we stop? Who are we hurting?” Gary was trying to ward off my thoughts that we needed to end this intimacy.“I guess most people would say that we are hurting ourselves,” I responded honestly.“Bull shit,” Gary answered with passion. “I have not felt this good about myself since before Dad died. In fact, for the first time in nearly six months I do not want to go out tonight and get stoned or drunk. I wanted to stay in. I really just wanted to be near you.”“Thank you for saying that, but what we did is still wrong.”“How can something that makes me want to quit smoking weed and stop drinking be wrong? For the first time in six months I am thinking about getting my grades up.”.
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